We (‘we’ meaning everybody) often speak about spam e-mail as if it represents some demonic presence levied upon the world like a curse spawned in a Greek tragedy. You know how the story goes: boy meets goddess, goddess shacks up with boy, god discovers the goddess’ treachery, god curses boy, and in doing so, also curses mankind with the horrible viral affliction known as e-mail spam. Okay, Aeschylus it’s not, but it is a pretty accurate depiction of how spam is often demonized. Often, we tend to forget that not every spammer is a bearded, greasy haired knuckle walker hunched behind the sallow glow of a computer monitor like Dracula in search of his next victim.
In fact, much of the spam that invades our inboxes each day is the product of ‘valid’ sources. There are the people whom we know and trade e-mail with on a regular basis – this is the social spam we speak of (not to be confused with social diseases, which require more than a few bytes rubbing together to constitute disease transmission). Then there are the people whom we don’t know but still represent some sort of valid connection that leaves you banging your face against the bathroom mirror crying, “Why? Why? Why did I let that person, cause or corporate concern have my e-mail address?”
Then there is the ubiquitous retail spammer. The purveyor of something [they think] you need. A perfectly valid company that’s in it for the same reason everyone else is in it: to make a buck. It could be an Amazon or an eBay, a Harrod’s or a J.C. Penney. The name doesn’t much matter, because they’re all in it for the same reason. To gain your business.
Suddenly, they become the demonic arch-villain in the Greek drama. Somehow, they’ve garnered your e-mail address. Like the Greek tragedy, the penalty for your hubris is some sort of curse, y’know, something entirely disproportionate with your crime. In this case, the curse is hundreds of spam e-mails, which you can’t really complain about, since somewhere along the way you asked for it.
You might ask “Wait a second! How did I ask for it?” Well, you probably did something totally deserving of being cursed with a flood of unwanted e-mails. You may have shown interest in something! Or even worse, maybe you bought something! Perhaps you weren’t totally to blame. Maybe you were shopping and in order to actually pay for something you were forced into giving your e-mail address. Whatever the reason, you’re in it now, and the penalty is a slow and painful death by arthritis of the index finger as you click and drag, click and drag, click and drag.
Sound like a familiar scenario? It should, since it’s how companies nail you these days, and they’ve been doing it for years now. In fact, more than 9% of retail sales were online sales in 2011 in the U.S., according to Forrester Research, and that number will continue to grow. Add to that the fact that online-only companies like eBay and Groupon – and even penny auction leeches like qbids.com – are upping the competition for our hard-earned Benjamins and you’ve got a bit of a bidding war on your hands. It’s why retailers have taken to cyberspace and become spammers.
Yes, spammers. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’re selling. If you blast the world with ridiculous amounts of unsolicited e-mail, then you’re a spammer. The Wall Street Journal seems to agree, according to its story “Stores Smarten Up Amid Spam Flood.”
The good news, according to the article, is that retailers have finally gotten wise to the idea that spam is spam and are beginning to pull back from the sheer numbers of unwanted e-mail. It’s a good thing, too, because the numbers are a little shocking. In 2011, the article reports, the top 100 e-commerce retailers in the United States sent an average of “177 emails apiece, up 87% from 2007, according to research by marketing-technology company Responsys Inc. Some of the most aggressive emailers – including Neiman Marcus Group Inc. – sent each recipient more than 500 emails apiece in 2011.”
Holy spam, Batman! Instead of wasting their time on the little fish, maybe Microsoft and the U.S. Department of Justice should have taken Neiman Marcus down! Interestingly – and hopefully something other spammers will take note of – the larger retailers are reporting that less unwanted e-mail means higher click rates and lower unsubscribe rates.