It\u2019s been common knowledge for some time now that spammers have not gone away<\/a>, no matter how much numbers have declined<\/a> since the unceremonious nuking of the likes of Rustock<\/a>. If we\u2019ve noticed any trend worth reporting, it\u2019s that spammers, the bloody wankers<\/a>, have only gotten smarter<\/a>. Seems counterintuitive, doesn\u2019t it, that people who come off as being so stupid<\/a> could actually be regarded as smart? As much as it pains me to admit it, at least some of the scumbags must be wily. It\u2019s evidenced by their survival and an ongoing social epidemic that sees stupid people parting with their hard-earned money, all because some stranger e-mailed them and told them it was okay to click that suspicious-looking link.<\/p>\n

The debate over spammers\u2019 ability to adapt will continue for a long time, but when we actually see evidence of this newfound ability to cogitate, it\u2019s worth reporting on. This week, reports of an e-mail scam so devious in its devising that even the leaders in North Korea took a break from an ill-conceived and embarrassing rocket launch<\/a> to ogle the pictures and say (in Korean, of course) \u201cAWW! SO CUTE! Ook at da diddle puppy dog! Who\u2019s a cute puppy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes, folks, it\u2019s true. The scammers have provided real evidence that they are, indeed, spawns of Satan. For only the antichrist \u2013 or Boris Badenov<\/a> \u2013 could come up with such a deliciously brilliant and duplicitous plan. Please, mister spammer, if you\u2019re reading this, SEND ME THE SPAM! It\u2019s not enough just to read about it! I want to be part of the sublime madness!<\/strong><\/p>\n

All right, calm down. Here\u2019s the deal:  according to Commtouch Caf\u00e9, the illegitimate e-mail comes with the promise of being able to adopt one of six Siberian Husky puppies<\/a> (just look at that picture! How can you resist?) \u201c<\/em>I am giving them out because they were always cared and looked after by my father,\u201d<\/em> the e-mail explains while you shed several salty tears, \u201cbut with a heavy heart i lost him and he was all I got<\/em> [okay, so spammers aren\u2019t book smart, but I never said they were. There\u2019s still street smarts, k?] <\/strong>,i work with a global, broad-based health care company devoted to discovering new medicines, new technologies and new ways to manage health\u2026\u201d<\/em> and so on.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t look at me! [sniffling and searching for some tissue] <\/em>You compose yourself long enough to read on. \u201cMy father died in an accident last month on his way back from work and i have very bad memories when i see these puppies around me, because they were always together with him since i am always busy in the laboratory.\u201d<\/em> Oh\u2026my\u2026God\u2026[choke]\u2026 it\u2019s enough to bring even the biggest man to his knees.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re far too busy to read any further, what with weeping profusely. It seems too good to be true, and guess what? It is. This poor soul, God bless him, dearly wants to give you a puppy, but he must pay \u20ac105 (around 140 dollars), apparently for the ownership papers. It\u2019s a paltry sum, you admit between sniffles, as you scour the room for your credit card, checkbook, cash on hand, gold and diamonds, or whatever else you care to use as currency.<\/p>\n

Those of us who are dumb enough to fall prey for this bogus tale are asked to send the money via Western Union, a tremendous way for the crooks to avoid being tracked down. And, of course, sending the money will not<\/em> get you a puppy, but it will leave you as embarrassed as a North Korean rocket scientist and, of course, out of pocket for 105 Euros.<\/p>\n

As one writer put it, \u201cThis is why, whenever receiving such an email, one must ask himself\/herself: why would anyone send out random email offering puppies for free? Think about it! If you were a dog lover, would you give some expensive puppies to just anyone because they wrote you an email about how they loved animals?\u201d<\/p>\n

Too true. But it begs a larger question than the stupidity of humanity, something which is not up for debate here. What if all spammers get this smart? Let\u2019s face it, over the years all of us in the business of nuking them have probably done significant damage. And what type of damage can one do to a spammer? A flaming arrow right to the wallet. Mercedes and mansions don\u2019t buy themselves, you know.<\/p>\n

Uh-oh. It\u2019s all about survival. They have no choice but to get smarter<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I love a good horror story, but this one\u2019s going to keep me up at nights.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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