Spam. A sleazy, despicable product of a sleazy, despicable cross-section of human waste. Only the lowest of the low could be responsible for the stuff that robs people of their hard-earned savings, hijacks computers of law abiding citizens to do the illegal bidding of the bot master, and obliterates hard drives after harvesting all their data. If it wasn\u2019t so dangerous and destructive, it would probably be laughable. The spam is often laughable, moronic, even. The subject matter bespeaks a sub-culture of amoralistic bottom feeders, pathetic criminals who can\u2019t grasp the concept of an honest day\u2019s work. Lowbrow pleas to purchase male enhancement drugs, aid a struggling political refugee, or simply click a link to garner untold riches and fame.<\/p>\n

Spam. The sleaziest of the sleazy. If only spam could talk, what would it tell us? Therein lies the conundrum, because if we are to use only the product \u2013 the waste product \u2013 of the spammer as evidence of its existence, then what we\u2019re left with is the impression of a pure idiot. Honestly, read this and tell us if you disagree:<\/p>\n

Dear Email user,<\/em><\/p>\n

This message is from Administration center Maintenance Policy verified that your mailbox exceeds its limit, you will be unable to receive new email, To re-set your SPACE on our database prior to maintain your IN BOX, you must click the link below:<\/em><\/p>\n

CLICKHERE: <Link omitted to protect the reckless><\/em><\/p>\n

(If the link above does not appear click able or does not open a browser window when you click it, copy it and paste it into your web browser’s Location bar.) Thank you for your cooperation.<\/em><\/p>\n

Admin Help Desk.<\/em><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s face it. You have to be pretty damned stupid to construct something like that, source an email list, blast it to the world, and expect anyone with two gray cells to rub together to respond. Right?<\/p>\n

So if spammers are so damn stupid, why the hell are they still around? Honestly, if Darwin was correct \u2013 and there\u2019s no good reason<\/a> to believe he wasn\u2019t \u2013 then by now, spammers\u2019 typing fingers would have fallen off, they would have grown gills, and they\u2019d be unable to keep down solid food.<\/p>\n

So what gives?<\/p>\n

Well, for the first time, perhaps, we have a chance to experience what life would be life if, instead of hiding behind keyboards and the dull glow of a computer screen, spammers came right up and knocked at our doors. Thanks to the fine chaps at Hapstance Films<\/a>, who have crafted a brilliant short film called \u201cThe Inbox,\u201d a  witty little diatribe that takes a lighthearted poke at the dark and disturbing art of spamming.<\/p>\n

In the piece, reminiscent of the fine tradition of Monty Python, an everyman is home one evening when a spammer comes calling. Just the type of seedy, misanthropic lowlife you\u2019d expect of spammers, the anthropomorphized visitor isn\u2019t satisfied with simply knocking at the door and disturbing the man\u2019s dinner plans. No. he barges right in and demands information: personal information, mother\u2019s maiden name, that sort of thing.<\/p>\n

When the everyman protests, the intruder hilariously points out \u201cBUT YOU WON!\u201d What, asks the everyman, have I won? \u201cTHE PRIZE!\u201d What prize? Asks the everyman. \u201cTHE BIG PRIZE!\u201d You can imagine where it goes from here. He begins pilfering the everyman\u2019s desk for information. An appropriate metaphor, because that\u2019s exactly what spam does.<\/p>\n

But it doesn\u2019t stop there. Hilariously, the father shows up \u2013 hijacked, seemingly, as he tries to convince his son to click a link. In fact, anyone with an email account will nod and laugh with each new character, a smorgasbord, if you will, of the crap that invades our mailboxes on an habitual basis. And the denouement of \u201cThe Inbox\u201d\u2026well, you\u2019ll just have to watch, won\u2019t you?<\/a><\/p>\n

Spam is such a serious threat, and the threat becomes more soberingly dangerous<\/a> each day, it seems. It\u2019s no joke to those of us who wrestle with it and attempt to gain a foothold on spam, the waste product of human depravity itself. But at some point, we have to stop and step back. Take a good long look at the waste product and understand what it is that we\u2019re looking at. It\u2019s spam. It\u2019s called spam for a reason. It\u2019s unwelcome. It\u2019s nasty. It makes us want to take a shower whenever we come in contact with it. It pollutes, by association, every legitimate piece of email from marketers for known companies, because we want it to stop. We don\u2019t care that you\u2019re legitimate.<\/p>\n

Stop bugging us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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